chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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