my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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