So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
