yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
