I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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