Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I AM VODKA MAN
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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