That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize