I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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