I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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