i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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