Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
