Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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