Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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