he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
