i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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