Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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