My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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