Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
