some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
