I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
