I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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