Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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