one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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