You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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