i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
