They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
