we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
