does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
