Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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