i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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