belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
