i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my poor anus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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