I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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