i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We left the knife in your bed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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