"it" just moved
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
