Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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