Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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