she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
