I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
