God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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