just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
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so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
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A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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