In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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