fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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