Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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