Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
