Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
