We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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