people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
