Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Someone signed my nipple.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
