hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
