I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
