Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize