We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you bring me the toilet please
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
