Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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