Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
