i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
