If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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