he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
