Just cropdusted the office
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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