the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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