Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
