So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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